Poliver Tines

To the tune of "Oliver!" from the musical of the same name...

Description:

Captain Kahn:
For we who are about to dock at Footfall
May the emperor make you truly thankful.

crew:
Amen

POLIVER:
[spoken] Please, Sir, I want to kill you.

Captain Kahn:
[spoken] What?!

POLIVER:
[spoken] Please, Sir, after me Kull will send more.

Captain Kahn:
[spoken] More!?

KATRINA:
Catch him!

Captain Kahn:
Blast him!

KATRINA:
Crush him!

Captain Kahn:
Smash him!

KATRINA:
Decimate him!
Denigrate him!
Shoot his ship and Obliterate him!

Captain Kahn:
Wait!
Before we put the fiend to task
May I be so curious as to ask
His name?

BOYS (whispering):
Po-li-ver.

KATRINA AND Captain Kahn:
Poliver! Poliver!

Captain Kahn:
Never before has a pirate wanted more!

Captain Kahn AND KATRINA:
Poliver! Poliver!

KATRINA:
Won’t ask for more when he knows what’s in store.

Captain Kahn:
There a dark, thin, winding warpway
Without any navigators
While we’ll throw him down, and feed him to
warpbeasts , expert masticators!

ALL:
Poliver! Poliver!

Captain Kahn:
What will he do when he’s turned black and blue?
He will curse the day
Somebody named him

ALL:
Po-li-ver!

Captain Kahn:
Poliver! Poliver!
Never before has a pirate wanted more!
Poliver! Poliver!

KATRINA:
Won’t ask for more
When he knows what’s in store.

Captain Kahn:
There’s a vacuous void
Crew overdue for meal or two
Which we’ll push him through,
And one day next year with the hullghasts he’ll be due.

ALL:
Poliver! Poliver!

Captain Kahn:
What will her do?
In this terrible stew?
He will rue the day somebody name him…

ALL AND KATRINA:
Po-li-ver!

Rogue Traders:
Poliver!
Poliver!
Never before has a pirate asked for more
Poliver!
Poliver!

Crissipus:
Pray some decorum restore, I implore…
Let us face this case, it’s
Unpreedented, qute utterly.

Crew:
He’s disgraced this place.

Azrael:
Encouraging others to avoid us entir’ly.

ALL:
Poliver
Lost in the void
And his crew put him on ice,
For that we were so nice
They’ll serve him with rice
That
Po-li-ver!

Bio:

Poliver Tines

Here Be Dragons Blabble Blabble